Thor: The Dark World

Thor: The Dark World

Story:

A long time ago there was a war between the Asgardians and the Dark Elves. The Asgardians are led by Odin’s father, Bor, while the Dark Elves are led by Malekith. We learn that Malekith is in possession of a deadly object called the Aether which can only be used during the convergence (an alignment of planets). However before Malekith could use the Aether, it was taken by the Asgardians. Without his weapon Malekith had to retreat. Believing that the Asgardians had killed Malekith and all the Dark Elves, they hid the Aether where no one would find it.

Okay. My first problem with this movie is the exposition. As someone who has a good sense of superhero movies and the worlds they inhabit, even I was having a hard time following the set up. 

Let’s count the number of new elements introduced to the viewer:

      1.The race of evil Dark Elves 

      2.The leader of the Dark Evles is Malekith (our bad guy)

      3.Aether is some deadly deadly weapon

      4.Aether can only be used on the convergence (an alignment of planets)

        5. Asgardians hid the Aether after stealing it

      6.Malekith and all the Dark Elves are thought to be dead

I understand that movies have to have some exposition but there is so much that the viewer becomes lost almost instantly. I don’t see why they couldn’t introduce these points more slowly because they have to re-explain everything about half way through.  It’s a waste of time.

Our movie begins with Loki in chains being summoned by Odin. Tom Hiddleson is probably the only good thing about this movie. Every moment he’s on screen is great and he’s got an amazing range between dramatic and comedic moments. Odin then commands that Loki be sent to the dungeons where he will pay for his crimes.

We then cut to Thor and his team of The Fellowship of the Ring rejects, who are apparently fighting…something. It’s not clear. I want to note that the fight choreography is terrible here. One guy is just running and swatting at enemies with his sword. It looks cheap and it shows. The only thing we learn in this scene is that the 9 realms are in chaos and Thor is trying to make peace. We don’t really know why the 9 realms are in chaos. Did it have to do with Loki and the Avengers movie? We aren’t given any information. Anyway, after some lame jokes and Thor smashing things more than Hulk would, we return to Earth.

On Earth, we are reintroduced to Dr. Jane Foster, played by Natalie Portman, who is now in London. Why? Who knows? She’s with some guy named Richard? Who? Doesn’t matter, they don’t tell us if they’re dating or friends or what. They’re at dinner together so one can only assume they’re dating. Ok cool. No problem. But then they start talking about her seeing another guy (Thor). What!? Even if these two weren’t dating why this topic would even come up is silly. After some awkward dialog, Jane’s intern Darcy, played by Kat Dennings, crashes her dinner to explain there is something weird happening. Darcy mentions very quickly that Jane stopped her research 2 years ago after the incident in the first movie. Ok why? Why did she stop her research? If the future king of Asgard descended onto Earth and fell in love with you, why wouldn’t you be spending all your time looking for him after he left? Also if she stopped researching why is Darcy in London? Surely, Darcy wouldn’t follow Jane to London for nothing. Jane ditches Richard to check out the strange activity.

Darcy, Jane and some new guy intern (he’s not important…at all) go to the source of the strange activity, an abandoned warehouse. Okay at this point of the movie, we know that Darcy is supposed to be our comic relief but she NEVER shuts up. She is always talking, always commenting, always. She’s like a raven, squawking and repeating whatever has just been stated. She isn’t funny. That’s it. Just not funny. If anything in this movie could have been cut, it should have been her character.

In the abandoned warehouse, it’s shown that the convergence is creating some strange anomalies with warp bubbles and strange shifts in gravity. This is where my biggest problem comes from this movie. Chance. Everything happens by chance.  The convergence apparently puts all the universes into alignment which allows for random transportation between different planets. This is the worst kind of plot device. Anything can happen and it can be blamed on the “random warp holes”.  It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t used to explain EVERY SINGLE THING in this movie.

The first thing our warp hole does is pull Jane through it. How this happens and why to her? It’s never explained. So she gets sucked into the exact hiding spot of the Aether and what do you know, it attacks her and starts to apparently live inside of her. Ok…

At the same time, we jump back to Asgard where Thor and the Heimdall (the guardian of Asgard) are talking about the convergence and how EXTERMLY DANGEROUS it can be. Last time the convergence happened, Malekith tried to plunge the universe into darkness using the Aether. Well no problem, Heimdall can see everything and will know if an attack is happening. Wait NO! Not 3 seconds later he’s like “I can’t see Jane” “She’s gone”.  This should start to raise some red flags. Heimdall should realize that there are places and things he cannot see. And knowing how dangerous the last convergence was, maybe we should prepare ourselves, just in case. But no, it’s forgotten about.

Jane randomly appears back on Earth. Thor goes down to figure what happened and brings her back to Asgard. This is where we learn that Odin is completely incompetent as king. Hell, Joffery would have made a better king. Odin recognizes that the element inside Jane is in fact the Aether, which he believed to have been destroyed. Thor mentions that maybe all the Dark Elves weren’t killed, but the idiot king insists that they were. Ok? What? How does that make any sense? Everything that’s happened up this point should tell Odin that, hey shit’s about to go down. Somehow Thor, supposedly the dumbest and most head strong of the group, comes out of this scene as the smartest and most level headed.

After alllll that, the next scene is Malekith and his ONE ship waking up from 5000 years of sleep. They somehow know the Aether is in Asgard and immediately make their way there. Malekith sends one of his men to get captured and take down Asgards’ defenses from the inside. Why Heimdall wasn’t able to see what was happening is beyond me. For some reason Heimdall can’t see the Dark Elves, even when their ship is uncloaked.

The Dark Elves attack, with ONE ship mind you, and pretty much destroy Asgard. A small group of Dark Elves, pretty much kill the entire army of Asgard. It’s the most ridiculous thing. Other than that there are some cool ship scenes, Heimdall goes all badass, and we get to see some pretty good fight choreography this time.

Odin again shows us his idiocy by not doing anything. He knows the Dark Elves are attacking and are probably after the Aether. So you think, let’s put a bunch of guards around that Jane girl and call Thor and get ready. Nope. He takes all his guards with him and leaves Jane to be guarded by the Queen. Umm no. I don’t care how good of fighter the Queen is. You should be using as many resources as possible protecting the one thing that can literally destroy the entire universe.  

Malekith fails to capture Jane but not before killing the Queen. This scene is crazy bad because it’s cut so weird. I’d suggest watching it again but Thor comes out of nowhere and there are a bunch of choppy cuts that are supposed to make the scene dramatic but it happens way too quickly. You barely have anytime to process what just happened.  There’s a boring funeral scene and you’ve made it about half way through the movie. Congratulations!